My grandmother was pretty bad at playing Pac Man.  In fact, she couldn’t really work out how to use the Atari joystick my brother and I seemed to have mastered like new digits attached to our palms.  ATMs were a nightmare and let’s not even go near the microwave oven!  But she could make a killer pumpkin scone that would rival Flo Bjelke-Petersen.

Mum and Dad were no better at the Atari games, but the ATM and microwave oven posed no significant challenge.  The home computer, though?  Dad managed to find his way through Windows for a little while but, finally unable to remember where the ctrl+alt+delete button is, decided to call it a day when he just couldn’t get the thing to cooperate with him.  Mum was a great cook and loved her garden while Dad tinkered around and fixed things (and taught us a few new words along the way!)  When it came to technology the TV was really enough.  OK the VCR and later DVD players, but beyond the basic functions, forget it, and the internet will only run up the phone bill…

It got me wondering: at what point is enough really enough?

Emil Berliner was obviously onto something good when he invented the gramophone.  I imagine some of the conversations at the time went something like this:

Berliner: Mamma, Pappa, I have invented the most wonderful thing!  A flat disk you can play recorded music and speech from!

Mamma: You don’t say!

Pappa: Sounds a bit technical to me, son, I’ll just get your mother and sisters to keep me entertained with their piano recitals.

Mamma: You don’t say…

                                                *                        *                        *

New Gramophone owner: Look at this, Grandma, all you do is crank it up, put the needle down on the disk and the music comes out of this horn… you have a go!

Grandma: No, no… I don’t want to break it…

                                                *                        *                        *

            Fred: Look, honey!  I’ve gone out and got us one of those new gramophones!

            Marge: But, Fred, we’ve only just finished paying off the Pianola!

Fred: Don’t mind that old thing – you don’t have to pedal anything with this, just sit back and enjoy…

Slowly but surely, western culture seemed to progress from an active participant in its entertainment to a preference for ‘set and forget’ technology, however crude some of the earlier technology seems to us now.  We have moved from highly kinaesthetic, tactile, activities, to more highly favoured visual and auditory forms of the passive variety.  Do we seriously wonder why obesity is a problem?

I used to consider myself pretty good at patching together hi-fi systems and the like and even though I know that HDMI cables essentially do the same thing as RCA cables, but with much higher quality, I’m more inclined to let my partner do the patching these days; I’m really more interested in the end result: watching and listening.  Maybe that’s where my grandmother eventually drew the line?  Video games brought an entirely different experience to the way we entertain ourselves with media.  No more were we the passive recipient of someone else’s directed material.  We became the directors ourselves.  It was I choosing to send Pac Man up this alley or that one and was ultimately responsible for the fate of the characters.  I was the one whose skill determined whether the little man in the jungle would make it across the pits and avoid scorpion attack and certain death (luckily he came with a supply of spare lives). 

My grandmother was content to observe TV and film (actually, she much preferred listening to the tranny while cooking or gardening) rather than interact with content, which is the increasing norm in our advancing western culture.  While we were exploring new virtual realities, she was content to interact with actual physical reality, with media content in the background, rather than the main focus.  In our quest to replicate and interact with ‘reality’, we’re interacting less with the actual physical world around us.  I don’t think my grandmother was incapable of learning how to master the joystick, I think she simply made the decision that it would offer her no real joy or benefit.  Let’s face it, she was never going to have to master keyhole surgery over the internet using remote controls such as a joystick, was she?  For that matter, neither did I, or my brother.  I digress…

It’s difficult to imagine what kind of advancement is likely to trip up generation X, Y or beyond.  Technology seems to be getting easier to interact with, not harder to learn.  In fifty years’ time we might be watching holographic episodes of Neighbours through our chip implants, but this would surely be easier than having a semi regular stoush with the garden of wires behind our entertainment units, growing like vines left unpruned, or the innumerable remote control devices that seem to sprout more and more buttons with each innovation like acne on a hormonal teenager.  I wonder if, with the futuristic holographic technology, we’ll be able to think of the colour red and invite an interactive duel of wits with Paul Robinson if we choose to become active consumers of Neighbours?

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology and the way in which it makes life easier for those of us privileged enough to have access to it.  It’s much easier carrying my music collection around on a device that weighs less than 5 kilos, opposed to the weight and volume of my record and CD collection.  It is far less hassle to use EFT than having to make a separate visit to an ATM or (heaven forbid) interact with a real-life bank teller.  I’m extremely grateful for the internet and many applications that make it possible for me to live thousands of kilometres away from cherished family and friends and still keep in touch with them on a daily basis.  And while I’m grateful for the speed at which I can now do things, including cook (or heat up?) a meal because it gives me more time to do the things I actually love doing, my alleged time poverty, I suspect, is actually a glut of time for which I no longer have enough real life skills to fill it with.  Maybe, after all these years, I’ll finally learn to play the piano.

I imagine that when I’m 90, the thing that will trip some of my contemporaries up is when a ten year old comes up to them and says “look what I grew” or “look what I just cooked”.  Having spent innumerable hours clicking to water the plants on our virtual farms or feed and entertain our virtual pets in whatever app we choose, and nuking packets of this or sachets of that to throw down our gullets for sustenance, we’ll have forgotten how to do and enjoy the basic things that a human being can do.  Maybe the latest technology to master in 2062 will be a watering can and planting guide, but those of us who have grown more comfortable with passive consumption or virtual interaction will be turned off by the real-world interactivity of it all and simply reply:

“That’s excellent, but it all looks too hard”

Tech savvy and brown thumbed, hankering for some of my late grandmother’s pumpkin scones, 21st Century Man lives to see another day…

What did you consume today?

I would never have considered being ‘between jobs’ as desirable.  I have always valued being employed.  Full time.  Full stop.  But what options am I denying myself with this attitude? 

First, let me revisit the goals I set out for myself last October: within a year I planned to pay off my credit card debt, be $2000 in credit with my home loan and lose 30 kilos.  As I write this today, I have achieved two of those things.  The one that remains is the 30 kilos.  In fact, it remains in its entirety.  Why is this so?

I’m glad you asked.  It comes down to what I have chosen to pay attention to, and the circumstances that have come to pass.  Between my initial goal setting and now, I became extremely focused on debt reduction.  I have to say that compared to other people, my level of personal debt was average to low – under $20K.  Nevertheless, I felt like I was paying off purchases I’d made months, even years ago, of things that had either been fully consumed or forgotten.  This worried me, so I naturally had a strong urge to get rid of that debt.  I also wanted to feel like I was getting ahead with my house payments, rather than treading water.  What resulted was a high proportion of my income being allocated to reducing my debt (at both levels).  Add to this a payout from my employer: the lump sum went straight onto the rapidly reducing debt, clearing the credit card debt all together and allowing me to meet my goal on my mortgage.  I did, however, lose my job, which I wouldn’t necessarily recommend as a strategy for clearing debt.  Having said that, I’m now clear of consumer debt and have closed my credit account.  Financially, I feel like I have cleared my slate, but know I have some more work to do: I need to clear my mortgage! (oh, yeah, and find a job…)

So what have I consumed?  To be honest, I can’t really say.  There was a low point where I was using my credit card to purchase groceries and pay for bills.  I know I’ve purchased some music along the way and was probably paying off my computer for some years.  Apart from that, it’s anyone’s guess.  This has made me start thinking about my patterns of consumption: how much of what I buy do I really want, and what impact am I having on our planet by constantly buying things that I can’t remember months or even weeks later?  This video really got me thinking about things: www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUeMVt3stAo

I also had the task of clearing my ‘stuff’ out of a friend’s garage last week.  Hoarders take note: the things you hold on to probably aren’t as important to you as you think.  I had placed my ‘stuff’ into storage nearly five years ago when I moved out of my house, embarking on a new adventure.  I figured I would eventually reunite with it when I settled down again.  The initial move caused some stress as I made some tough decisions on what I needed and what I didn’t.  Appliances, nick-knacks and furniture were sold, donated and (gulp) thrown away, reducing my house full of goods to fit in the corner of a shed.  Five years later I returned to the shed and guess what- the things I thought were really important no longer were.  This isn’t to say that I haven’t had a pang or two having ‘let go’ of some pretty cool stuff, but I have essentially further reduced my gear down to 10 boxes, one cupboard and a candelabra.  The garage sale might bring in a little bit of cash, but the biggest achievement for me in this process is allowing my ‘stuff’ to find a new home, where it will be used and loved all over again, leaving me to appreciate the few things I have chosen to keep.  It’s important to note that I’m not living the life a monk – the home I live in now already has household items.  Adding the things I had in storage would have duplicated much of it and served to clutter rather than comfort.

Why am I pouring my heart out about what anyone else might see as a basic process of cleaning up and throwing out?  It’s about consumption and hoarding.  As we go through life, some of us accumulate more and more things.  As Christmases and birthdays pass, more stuff comes by and inevitably is consumed or, more likely, placed on the shelf or in a cupboard, rarely if ever touched again.  While we consume in this way, more of our natural resources are being dug up and processed to create the things we don’t actually want or need.  Not to say someone else might not appreciate it.

So here’s the plan from now on: think about something carefully before committing to buying it – can I buy one second hand, rent one or borrow one from a friend or family member?  If I buy it, use and enjoy it.  When my need or desire has been satisfied, pass it on.  Share it.  Use it then lose it, and never NEVER think it’s OK to use a credit card to buy it.  (That last one is a note to self – you can make up your own mind about using credit).

So now I have the task of finding paid work to support the lifestyle to which I’ve become accustomed.  The thing is, I don’t buy nearly as much as what I used to and don’t have any consumer debt to pay off any more, which has allowed me to consider something other than the regular model of full time employment.  Whilst I have applied for full time work to date, I’m now opening my mind to other opportunities: how about self-employment or part time work, or a blend of several jobs?  I’m leaning towards starting a business with a friend and supplementing with part time income in the mean time, even freelancing or consulting.  The more I think about these options, the less appealing a full time job with one employer seems.  The important things to me when it comes to earning money are flexibility and, of course, the ability to meet my living expenses and save for the things that appeal to me today: zero mortgage and a good dose of travel.  For now, I’m happy to explore the possibilities available to me whilst living simply and truly appreciating what I’ve got.  The important thing, overall, is not to go backwards.  No thank you (insert bank name here) I’m not interested in your unsolicited offer of money to ‘have now, pay later’.  I just paid later for something I had but can’t remember, and unbeknownst to you, I cut up your credit card six months ago and haven’t missed it one bit while having all that I truly want.  Now that’s living!

And now for the third prong to my goal: my weight.  With plenty of time on my hands right now, what better use to make of it (apart from applying for jobs) than exercise!  Time to pay real attention to my weight goal now Easter has passed.  I’ll let you know how that one goes…

A week and a half has passed since my last weekly post and as much as I’d love to say I’ve been ‘busy as’, ‘flat chat’ or ‘under the pump’, the truth is that I have been struggling with motivation.  No big deal, right?  Everyone struggles with motivation from time to time.  But why does it happen, how do we change it and what do we do with it?  Allow me to explore this with my own experience, the content will inevitably be different for everyone, but I suspect the process will be the same.

My job has a number of stressors: my physical work space makes it extremely difficult to manage my time, with several volunteers sharing my space from day to day, more volunteers streaming in and out from hour to hour and no privacy to reflect, discuss or plan.  The chaotic environment is exhausting and my employer has recently moved the goal posts with my duties.  Sound familiar?  I know I’m not the only person in this kind of predicament, but that offers little compensation for how I feel at the end of every day: feeling like I haven’t had time to get to everything I need to then being unable to switch off from work at the end of the day, obsessed and worried about work.  It’s generally that last thing on my mind when I go to bed and the first thing that interrupts my sleep as each new day begins.  Four weeks back from a fantastic three-week break and I’m practically as burned out as before I took leave.  All I feel like doing is resting, relaxing, switching off, and so I end up physically lazing about, still unable to switch off.  And there I have it: a massive helping of de-motivation. 

I have just spent a whole paragraph on ‘why’ I feel lacking in motivation, but I also think it’s good to look at ‘how’ I do de-motivation.  I immerse myself in a situation, tell myself one thing or another about it, then create a mood accordingly.  In this case: I immerse myself in the busy-ness of my workplace, remind myself constantly of the shortcomings of the situation and collapse that into a negative opinion of myself, supporting these beliefs with negative observations of people around me (often about each other, not me).  By the time I have exhausted myself with all of this palaver, I leave myself with little space to enjoy much at all.

So how can we change it?  There are many processes about, and I’m not going to pretend to be an expert on what’s best.  In the end, a process is a process.  It doesn’t work, we do.  For me, belief changing is a key factor in breaking through these episodes of self doubt that lead to something very close to despondency. http://www.thejuicywoman.com/user_files/files/docs/Walking_Belief_Change_May07.pdf is a link to an article I found that illustrate one type of belief changing process. 

So here’s how I learned to change it:

1. Acknowledge how I’m feeling.

2. Explore what I’m telling myself to make myself feel this way (this is the belief).

3. Formulate a belief I would prefer to replace the old one with.

4. Acknowledge that I created that belief then choose to let it go.

5. Choose to adopt my new belief.

6. Visualise future situations where this belief supports me in a similar context.  

So here’s a real life example of how I’m feeling right now:

I acknowledge that I have chosen to believe that my opinion is not valued by those who employ me.  I created that with wisdom and love for myself and I have served myself well with all of it.  I now choose to let go of that belief and choose the following: I choose to believe that my employer trusts me to research what’s best for our business and trusts my opinion. 

I now believe that my employer trusts me to research what’s best for our business and trusts my opinion.  Examples of this include entrusting me with researching and developing internal policies and exploring alternative accommodation options.  Looking to the future, I not only see myself successfully managing my workplace, but successfully continuing employment doing something I love.

So what to do with this?  Stick with it.  Stay engaged in the process and always gently remind ourselves that the way we’re feeling may be the result of holding beliefs that don’t serve us.  If that’s the case, change them… unless you feel deliciously wonderful - I wouldn’t want to change that for the world!

The words I used in the above belief-changing process were learned in a seminar conducted by Mahni Dugan of Neuroads, based in Tasmania, Australia.  Mahni and her husband, Geoff, have been working with people for over 30 years, transforming individuals and businesses with their unique training and consultation.  For more information on the services they provide, check out their site: www.neuroads.com.

Time for some more belief changing and to nurture and revitalise my spirit… until next week, 21^st Century Man lives to see another day.

104.5.  No, it’s not my favourite FM radio station, it’s my current weight in kilograms.  Depending on how I look at it, I can say I achieved this weight with great ease, or with a lot of work.  Here’s how: Three weeks ago, I was tipping the scales at 107.9 kilos, probably the heaviest I have ever been.  This is where this part of my twelve-month journey began… everything has to start from somewhere.  I made a commitment to myself to go to the gym (I had, after all, been paying an unused monthly subscription for the last several months) and get myself on to the treadmill.  I needed to exercise.  Let me make it clear that I’m (clearly) not a health expert and I recommend that you get advice from your medical professional before starting an exercise program to be certain that you don’t risk damage to your health by overdoing it.  I’d spoken to my doctor months before and discussed ‘getting fit’ and ‘exercising’ after a check on cholesterol revealed mine was a little bit high, though not dangerously high.  “Come back to me six weeks after you’ve made your lifestyle change” he said to me.  That was in February, which means I’m approximately six and a half months late, assuming I would actually “change my lifestyle” any time soon.  I was also a smoker at the time, but that’s another story for another time. I digress.

So getting to 104.5 with effort has meant turning up to the gym every second day (even when it meant going back home to get my gym gear that I forgot to take) and getting on that treadmill.  Along the way, I reminded myself about how I lost weight last time… burn more energy than I consume… simple mathematics… train in the correct cardio zone for weight loss.  There’s so much information out our fingertips now about how to get the results we want.  Another piece of information that woke me up was that I am currently considered obese.  When I began this little adventure, my body fat percentage was 41.1%.  There’s no nice way to view that one – almost half of my body is made up of fat… that’s around 40 kilos worth - surely enough for a good fry up?!  If you’re looking for a little wake-up call yourself, try this link: http://www.weightlossforall.com/fat-percentage-ideal.htm after you’ve measured your own body fat percentage.  I hope you’re pleasantly surprised!

A trainer down at my gym kindly offered me a complementary personal training session.  I know as well as anyone that it’s a tactic to entice me to purchase a ‘package’ of personal training sessions, but I figured “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.  So I trundled down the hill yesterday for the workout from hell.  I’ve had one or two of these in the past, so kind of knew I’d be working more than I do in my normal treadmill routine.  We’re talking hooks, cross punches, upper cuts… whilst running up and down a flight of stairs, push ups and crunches (with punches thrown in for good measure).  As much as he kept promising me it would feel better each time I did it, my panting, sweaty, dehydrated body fell into a stinking heap when I got home, only an hour before I was due to go out to a local festival.  I’m thinking about buying a package.  Why?  Because I respond well to quick results.  It’s the end product of growing up and living in a fast-paced society.  I could also really do with a good kick up the rear from time to time to prevent me from slumping into maudlin complacency.  There’s no better time to feed motivation than when it’s already present.

So now for the easy way to get to 104.5kg.  Chocolate.  Lots of delicious chocolate, and pastries.  Chips (fries) with gravy, pizza… you get the picture.  But it tends to work in only one direction from experience, so best to adopt this method when you’re weight is below 104.  I’ll be sticking to the method that requires physical exertion, so stay tuned for that one.

In between writing this blog, I attended the inaugural WOMAD Earth Station festival in Belair National Park, Adelaide.  So many well-researched ideas and eloquent speakers talking about our planet, our impact on it and what technologies are available right now to achieve a carbon neutral society.  Some wonderful world music rounded off the event.  A definite highlight was comedian, Rob Quantock… check out his web site here: http://quantock.com.au/

While I was hearing all of these great speakers and seeing all of the brilliant artists and innovations I thought about my humble blog and wondered if it might be a little bit too self reflexive?  We’re all encouraged to embrace our individual selves, self actualise and claim what’s rightfully ours.  Although I don’t have any children, I’m fully aware that I’m borrowing my space on this planet from someone not yet born, and it’s up to me to do my bit to make sure it’s left in a nice state for them.  We’re living at a rate that is unsustainable right now.  Last month contained a day called ‘overshoot day’ which is the day on which the earth’s population consumed more than what it should in a year… we’re eating next year’s supplies already, and it’s not even Christmas yet!!  One final link for this post: http://www.wwf.org.au/our_work/people_and_the_environment/human_footprint/footprint_calculator/   Have a look to see what your carbon foot print is… how many planet earths would it take to support everyone if they lived like you?  For me: two and a half.  Not pretty.  Not only am I thinking about my personal goals now, but how I can reduce my carbon footprint.  Perhaps each can help the other?  Until next week, 21^st Century Man lives to see another day.  

Not pocket change, although there seems to be a lot of people around these days who don’t seem to be able to make change without an electronic aid… I digress.  I recently took a holiday with my partner, which included a stop-over in my home town to celebrate a ‘milestone’ birthday.  Personal events and ‘year markers’ are fairly common points for us to reflect and consider ‘the big picture’.  Turning 30ten, for me, is something I kind of always knew would happen, without really considering what obstacles I would need to navigate, if any.  Luckily, I’m blessed with good health and I reached another decade last month.  I have the same confidence about reaching 80, but that’s not what I’m talking about right now.  Change, or the motivation for change, is what has caught my attention of late, and what do I do with the motivation when it arises?  If you’re anything like me, you’ll often have a fantastic idea that inspires you, makes you feel a kind of  ‘zing’, then before you know it, you have half a dozen of them, by which time you feel so overwhelmed, you’re not sure how you can even begin to start on the first one – if you still remember what it was.

I was at the end of quite a stressful year: I had moved interstate and started a new job that was mentally and emotionally gruelling.  I was burned out, as was my partner.  There was an overbearing feeling that we were in a rut that neither of us dared to acknowledge.  Surely there must be more to life than the maddening treadmill we were on.  Luckily (or not) I have been in this situation before, so I have a knowing that change will come: ‘this, too, shall pass’.  There is no way I could console myself with this knowledge while I was in the thick of the everyday.  Then came Byron Bay.

I’ve been there many times.  It’s a place I find very healing just by virtue of driving across the town’s border.  There’s something about the warmth in the air, the rolling green hills, the laid back attitude.  In Byron Bay, I feel more able to take time to connect with spirit and start listening to myself again, instead of others, or what I think others are saying.  I feel like the universe is snuggling me in its cosmic arms.  It’s in this space I remember something my high-school economics teacher wrote in my year book at the end of high school: “always remember that balance is the key”.  It’s something I always come back to, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t referring to bookkeeping.  In the stillness of my spiritual home, I listened and what I heard was how much I love to write.  From the time I learned how to spell I wrote short stories; at about ten years of age I started writing short plays; in my twenties I wrote a stage play and an eight-part radio serial.  More recently, I have written a novella and another eight –part radio serial.  Lace all of this with a good smattering of poetry and I see the hallmarks of a writer.  So why am I managing people and feeling miserable?  At this point I decided I had to buy a notepad and pen: there was a book to written!

Then the next idea came: write a blog!  Before I knew it, I had identified several opportunities to get myself out of my expert-made rut (I’ve made plenty before, so I’m quite good at it) and back into a lifestyle that I enjoy.  21^st Century Man was born, and the goals I have set for the following twelve months became clear: pay off my personal loan in full, get $2000 ahead in my mortgage, remain connected to spirit and lose 30 kilos.  No pressure.  Even as I think now, it’s quite a juggling act I’ve set myself up for over the next twelve months, but I’m up for it.  I have, again, instigated a period of change in my life that I feel positive about because I’m the one who’s managing it. 

The moment we accept that change can be a positive thing and that we can manage change rather than suffer the ill-effects of it, the prospect of change becomes exciting and welcome.  Change, after all, is inevitable, so why not enjoy and get something good out of it?  This isn’t to say that all change is going to be a pleasant experience – losing a friend or family member certainly isn’t a happy change, and that’s not what I’m talking about here.  I’m talking about the ability each of us has to take control of our life: to take charge.  Your life is your own – if it harms nobody, do what you will.  It is through our will that change occurs.  What’s your will?

Two weeks after returning from my holiday, I’m still motivated and I’m getting results.  The biggest factor I can identify for myself in keeping things rolling is focus.  Intent.  From the initial point of having the idea about wanting something I want, I have chosen it with intent.  Having chosen this thing with intent, I now focus on desiring it with passion and expecting it to happen.  I learned these principles during a seminar I attended in 2001 and have been playing with them ever since.  Importantly, I am taking an active role in the creation of these things, not relying on the universe to simply ‘provide’.  If I want to win the lottery, I need to buy a ticket, right?  But let’s look at some things with much better odds than the lottery… 

This week I can see that I have made progress on three out of four of those goals.  The one that eludes me is my connection to spirit, so tonight I will meditate and next week I will blog the part of my journey that is weight loss.  21^st Century Man lives to see another day…

Yes, you.  We all have buttons; little internal valves and switches that make us purr, grunt or roar.  Some people will tell you exactly what their buttons are, others will make you guess, then there are those that aren’t really aware what their buttons are, but are controlled by them nonetheless.  So much so that by telling them you’re pushing their buttons is likely to push their buttons.

I generally consider myself a good communicator and pride myself on the good job my parents did bringing me up to respect other people and to be kind and courteous.  A button-pusher for me is when someone accuses me of being a bad communicator with ulterior motives.  Particularly when it appears to me that they’re working on their own swathe of ulterior motives.   Then I question whether I’m reading too much into their behaviour.  Is it a control issue on my part and how important is control anyway?  The ‘c’ word.  Nasty if ill-used. 

When you’re a manager, as I currently am, some people tend to expect a god-like air that surpasses regular human behaviour, and do all they can to find a flaw.  A good manager will control all resources to make a business, team or project run harmoniously, they will be someone you can rely on to make sure the rules are kept and to referee when people can’t or won’t play fair.  A manager, typically, will hear everybody’s secrets, usually with an accompanying request never to divulge, to keep confidence.  This, my friends, is the practice of dumping.  Did you ever have a friend or acquaintance that always had something important to divulge, but never took ownership of their statement?

It goes something like this:

“Don’t tell anyone, but, Tom is going to sack Trudy next week when Maria comes back because Trudy keeps coming back late from lunch.”

What, exactly, would you like me to do with this information?  In one fell swoop, you have broken Tom’s confidence (presuming you actually heard it from Tom in the first place) and you’ve censured me from doing anything with the information.  There is no value in this revelation for any party other than the person ‘hand-balling’ the information, along with its emotional content, on to someone else.  Do you want me to dissect Tom’s skills or ethics?  Possibly, but again, to what end?   

A manager must be self sufficient, omnipotent and resilient in the face of all adversity, including mutiny.  How do people separate themselves from the squabbles and back stabbing?  How do people get themselves to a level where the behaviours and murmurs of those around and below become irrelevant to their modus operandi?  Does it really require a separation from the values of human relating I have been taught and aspired to?  I’ve tried that and the personal emotional cost is far too high for my liking, so I have to find a way to respond in this situation that acknowledges the information that has been delivered to me and relieve myself of its presence in a way that satisfies my values.  Is the information of any real use?  Is the person relaying it to me trying to assist me in a larger ‘battle’ or simply get involved in some kind of drama or intrigue?

As a manager, my ideal response to this statement would be “what would you like me to do with this information?”  I have no issue whatsoever with protecting someone’s identity to shield them from harm, but playing the cat-and-mouse game of quoting anonymous sources can only lead misery.  The method is manipulative and subversive.  Grievances are best addressed quickly and honestly.  I’m sure there are myriad compensation claims that will attest that delaying action is detrimental to individuals, teams and businesses.

So what makes a good operator tick?  It would depend on the context, I assume.  Whether you want to be the perfect parent, manager, co-worker, lover or any of the many and varied other roles we play through life, we need to understand what’s important to us and what’s important about that role to us, or how we relate to the image or map of what we believe that role is.

By way of example, here’s an example of how I personally relate to the role “manager”:

As a manager, it is important to me that people can confidently work independently.  It is also important to me that people feel comfortable enough to ask a question when they need to, but not become reliant on all of the answers being provided for them.  Let’s face it, if I’m providing every answer, every time, I might as well do the job myself, and that’s not my job.  A productive work space, for me, is one in which people can work uninterrupted when they need to, but interact socially when performing less brain or labour-intensive routines.  While it would be ideal for everyone to get along and enjoy each other’s company, experience shows that not everybody has the flexibility of mind or attitude to tolerate all personality types or to necessarily recognise behaviours as the result of how an individual relates to the world and not the result of the desire to annoy the person next to them.

This doesn’t mean that I’m immune from the odd stand-up argument with the people I manage from time to time.  Yes, as reasonable as it all sounds, I allow my buttons to be pushed from time to time as well.  And there’s the difference.  Recognition that I’m the one in control of my responses or reactions to what’s going on around me or directed towards me.  I have a choice.  The difficult part, if I choose to believe so, is allowing myself to choose a better way to respond, and that’s where the fun begins!

This blog space is my space to observe, explore and share.  Sometimes it will be an editorial, other times it might be a poem or a simple commentary.  Being the helpful soul that I am, I hope that it is a positive inspiration for someone at some point, or at least mildly (no, wildly!) amusing.  These are the everyday happenings of a 21^st Century Man.